Well, June 21, 2010 came and went. Logically, I know the following: a pregnancy due date is just the date forty weeks from your last menstrual cycle, babies typically are born between 37 and 42 weeks, and first babies typically come later than their due dates. However, I have discovered that I can easily grow an emotional attachment to the due date. Throughout pregnancy many people asked me (including complete strangers) my due date. This weekend and yesterday I received numerous texts, emails, and other warm wishes to prepare me for the day (which I appreciate and send my thanks to everyone). Also, last Thursday was my last full day of work, and although I have plenty of work to do from home and have plenty stuff to do around the house, its still a hard transition to move from the busyness of full time work to being at home. Additionally, my pregnancy has been so smooth and right on schedule in each phase; plus I have been taking/doing the midwives' remedies to prepare my body for labor such as drinking red raspberry tea, taking evening primrose, etc. Therefore it seemed logical that JoJo would come on time. Furthermore, the summer solstice, the longest day of the year and JoJo's due date, seemed like a good birthday date.
Considering all these factors, when JoJo gave no signs of being ready to enter this world yesterday, it was disappointing. I was waiting and wanting to feel discomfort or pain and looking for the small tint of blood ("the bloody show") each time I went to the bathroom. By evening, I even began to have some anxiety and negative thoughts: "What if I have to be medically induced? What if I am one of the small percent of women that doesn't naturally go into labor? What if that medical induction leads to more interventions, and I do not get to experience natural labor at all? I don't want JoJo to experience any trauma during his first hours of life..." I knew these were irrational fears especially when I wasn't even one day over the due date, but that didn't stop them from coming.
Today I feel much better emotionally. JoJo will pick his own birth day. It is fascinating that doctors and researchers still do not know exactly what triggers labor and how the baby and the mother's body knows it is the right time. I'm excited to let go of wanting to know the exact date or having control of the situation and just experience this magnificent, mysterious part of life.
Considering all these factors, when JoJo gave no signs of being ready to enter this world yesterday, it was disappointing. I was waiting and wanting to feel discomfort or pain and looking for the small tint of blood ("the bloody show") each time I went to the bathroom. By evening, I even began to have some anxiety and negative thoughts: "What if I have to be medically induced? What if I am one of the small percent of women that doesn't naturally go into labor? What if that medical induction leads to more interventions, and I do not get to experience natural labor at all? I don't want JoJo to experience any trauma during his first hours of life..." I knew these were irrational fears especially when I wasn't even one day over the due date, but that didn't stop them from coming.
Today I feel much better emotionally. JoJo will pick his own birth day. It is fascinating that doctors and researchers still do not know exactly what triggers labor and how the baby and the mother's body knows it is the right time. I'm excited to let go of wanting to know the exact date or having control of the situation and just experience this magnificent, mysterious part of life.
beautiful pictures...
ReplyDeletethinking of you through this process of letting go and allowing your body to rest in the comfort of process, traditions and natural seasons.
you look wonderful.