Well, I am jumping on the blog bandwagon. I am not that good at expressing my feelings or writing descriptively so this is not an easy task for me. However, I think it will be a good experience for me to take the time to find words to describe my thoughts and feelings through my pregnancy and share this with others. I am going to start by including some my journal entries from last month:
October 16, 2009
Andy and I started to try to get pregnant after my 30th birthday in August. I had a little plan in my head that I could have a baby in late May or early June and then start a new assistant principal job in late summer. However, that was unrealistic. My August and September menstrual cycles came and went as usual. I was crushed in September as I realized my little plan was not feasible. I felt foolish for being impacted by it so much. How dare I assume that I would get pregnant right away. It was quite arrogant especially when people close to me have had long struggles with conceiving. I then began doing research on predicting ovulation. I learned how much I really did not know about my body. There are descriptions of what women experience throughout their monthly cycle but it seems there are hundreds of exceptions. Its fascinating and frustrating at the same time. I was a bit anxious this week as I knew it is time for my next period, but I was ready to except not being pregnant. I started to get premenstrual cramps so I assumed I wasn't pregnant, but then read online that some women continue to have premenstrual symptoms at the same time each month through the pregnancy (that stinks). So since my period was late I decided to take a home pregnancy test last night, and it was positive! I felt relieved, excited, and a little numb all at once. It doesn't feel real. I think it will take awhile to sink in.
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